Saturday, 16 July 2011

On values and letting go

I'll be brief because I'm in the middle of de-cluttering and overhauling, next week I might finally have a decent looking house ;)

I always doubt myself as a parent. I guess we all do. Particularly when it comes to values we believe in and how to pass them on to our kids. Particularly because every family is different, so even if you take advice from others (not that I usually do that anyway...) or follow a particular parenting style, you can't really be sure of the outcome since your own situation is so unique and different from everybody else's.

So if you're a perfectionist that likes being in control like me, letting go of some control is not easy. I've always being so concerned about the kids picking up bad habits or learning something that's not in line with our beliefs. Many times in the past I've had to go in damage control mode when Sosi was told something by one relative or another (like dogs being scary or mandarin membranes being yucky etc). You work soooo hard at building up confidence and filling the kids with good things and good values and sensibility, and then one dumb comment wrecks all your hard work and it takes you such a looong time to undo the "damage". You know, like when they learn swear-words, you can't really unteach them easily, can you?

Then one day you overhear this conversation while the grandparents are over.
Grandparent reading a book: "This baby is wearing pink, so what do you think it is?"
Sosi says nothing.
Grandparent: "It's a baby girl, because baby girls wear pink"
Sosi says: "Well, not really, not all girls like wearing pink"


Now I know I can let go a little, that I'm the most influential person in these little people's lives and that maybe in the storm of life I've provided them with a pretty good raincoat to keep them dry...

and as this boy will tell you, boys wear pink too :)


  1. oh boy do I know this! From in-laws (Brussel sprouts are gross, it's too high to climb certain items) to the neighbours (bugs are scary, kids only do something if the parents bribe them). I've been having one heck of a time, but we know it won't be long before the girls do speak up for themselves